stay away.

i had two cigarettes yesterday. two and a half today. still coughing. maybe i have cancer. i think it would be a relief to all my physical and emotional suffering ive endured for so so long. heh. i am cranky though. deaaaaaaaaaaaal with it.

busy at work.

mothers day this weekend. fuck. i really dont wanna go home.

i spent alot of money this weekend. not spending any for a while. hey. i bet ill save some not buying so many cigarettes. i wonder if i can go a week only smoking three a day. thats the challenge. long drives are a challenge. i think as long as ive been driving ive pretty much been smoking. shit.

haircut today.

havent worked out very much at all lately. i gotta get back on that. whether it really helps or not. it makes me feel a little better about myself.